Consent Policy and Complaints
Some events may have additional rules in place, which will be made clearly available to participants. Participants are responsible for knowing and abiding by these rules.
We strive to create an environment where like-minded individuals of all backgrounds and orientations can share their interests and the exploration of shibari and associated practices. It is paramount to us that all activities between individuals are done with ongoing consent.
We endeavour to create a safer community and event space. However, Shibari and related practices are not without risk. We and all users acknowledge that no play or activity is without physical, mental, or emotional risks.
We are committed to providing a safe and respectful environment for everyone, regardless of race, gender, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, age, religion, or social class. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated.
Respect is everyone’s responsibility. We will act quickly to stop harassment and assist anyone impacted.
Consent
“Consent” means a person’s willingness and ability to engage in a specific act. It is important to note that consent is the mutual creation of an agreement: aim for “YES!” not just the absence of “No.”
Do not touch anyone without their permission, and do not base your understanding of consent on what you’ve seen someone do with other people.
Do not, without express permission, touch anyone else’s ropes, personal possessions or equipment.
We expect all participants to vet and undertake their own due diligence on people that they tie or otherwise and engage with at our events and in our space and only engage with people that meet their risk profile.
Informed consent requires being aware and if necessary discussing the risks involved in the activity and the steps needed to reduce those risks, including study, training, technique, and safety measures.
All activities must receive prior consent explicitly rather than through gestures or body language.
Do not re-negotiate in the middle of your scene unless it is to reject activities that were previously agreed.
The universal safewords are “RED” and “SAFEWORD.” Everyone is free to withdraw consent at any time during the activity. At the use of either of those words or otherwise agreed safewords then the activity must then be bought safely to an end.
Do not attempt to participate in an ongoing scene unless invited explicitly by all current participants.
If you plan to engage in play that may have the appearance of being non-consensual, inform the staff and obtain their agreement before the beginning of the scene.
No one may participate in any activity or workshop whilst under the influence of drugs or alcohol. We reserve the right to ask people to leave a workshop if we have reasonable suspicion that they are under the influence or otherwise not fit to partake in the event, class or workshop
Do not pressure, force, coerce, or manipulate someone into consenting.
Do not do anything likely to result in serious bodily injury or go beyond a participant’s expectations, even where the participant gave consent.
The practice of Shibari and associated activities have inherent physical and emotional risks and all participants and users of the space must inform themselves of those risks before engaging in any activities. If any participant or user of the space is unsure about the risks then they are expected to refrain from engaging in those activities until they have had an opportunity to inform themselves of the likely risks and assess if it is within their own risk profile.
All participants are expected to have read and understood our safety policies and procedures and to abide by them within our space.
Behaviours that are generally considered inappropriate include (but are not limited to):
Physical:
Touching without consent, this applies to people as well as to their personal belongings, ropes, etc.
Interrupting a scene without prior agreement, whether to ask questions, make comments, or offer unsolicited advice or compliments.
Engaging in body language that is likely to make others feel uncomfortable; respect and give others their personal space and be mindful of your body language and behavior.
Except at certain social events alcohol is prohibited and do not attend any jam, workshop or similar event under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Recreational drugs are prohibited within the space.
Other violations of consent.
Non-Physical:
Using language that could be perceived as hurtful or inappropriate, including sexist, racist, fatphobic, ageist, ableist, or similar remarks.
Objectifying language that has not been invited or agreed upon.
Making comments about others’ political views, personal style, job or profession in a negative or judgmental way.
Sharing negative opinions or judgments about others.
What We Deal With
We make decisions about:
Violations of our policies and procedures at our events and online entities
Serious behavior outside of our events and platforms that could be in violation of criminal law (see below)
Reports of sanctions or bans by other groups with a similar consent culture
Outing or threats of outing
Reports that could be in violation of criminal law include:
Physical assault Causing physical harm or unwanted physical contact upon another person (especially when the other party is injured).
Sexual assault – Intentionally touching another person’s breasts, genitals or buttocks without their consent, or coercing or physically forcing someone to engage in a sexual act.
Blackmail – Demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.
Revenge Porn – Digital distribution of nude or sexually explicit photos and/or videos of a person without their consent, often in retaliation.
Stalking – Following someone to their home or workplace without permission.
Harassment – Harassment is repeatedly attempting to communicate with someone after they’ve asked for no contact, or threatening someone or their family or friends.
Coercion – Coercion means pressuring, forcing, or manipulating someone to do something against their will, often by using threats, intimidation, or exploiting a power imbalance.
Interpersonal disputes including those between partners and former partners, paramours and metamours are typically not within the scope of our procedure; however, we do have a rule to enable members to request no-contact. If members under no-contact are present together at our events, we ask you to not approach each other.
Please use professional mediation, community support services, and trauma or kink-aware counseling for relationship issues such as:
Emotional abuse
Gaslighting
Verbal abuse
Humiliation
Talking about bad experiences they had with someone
Unpopular speech on social media
Arguments about ideology or ideas
Reporting a Consent or other Incident
This document outlines how to make a report for consent and other incidents both inside and outside our space. We recognise that every incident is unique. While this policy sets the standards for our process for handling such incidents, there may be times where circumstances of an incident require a deviation from this standard. We will update this policy as we continue to evolve to better serve our community’s interests.
We only take first-person reports and cannot act on hearsay or third-party reports.
We don’t take anonymous reports.
To ensure a timely response, please use the following methods to report:
At events, you can ask any event volunteer to connect you to the designated staff or Collective Member who can take reports.
Outside of events, you can contact our Consent Incident Reporting Team. You will receive an acknowledgment within 72 hours. Please send your email to incidents@studioma.org.uk
While this is not an exhaustive list, the following details should be included in a report:
How would you prefer us to contact you?
What would you like to tell us about this consent incident?
Do you remember what you discussed before the incident about what you wanted to do and your limits?
What do you recall what you were saying or doing when this incident happened?
Were there any injuries?
Was there any request or re-negotiation to add any activities during the scene?
Was a previously agreed safeword used and ignored?
Has this person done anything like this to you before or violated your consent?
Can you tell us about any people who might have seen what happened?
What would you like to happen next?
Please include any documents related to the incident or conversations in written form, screenshots, or images of the injury.
Reporting Process
If the reporter is in crisis, we may refer them to a kink-aware crisis hotline or advocacy organization for immediate care. At an event, if an attendee needs to call 999 or an ambulance, we will encourage them to do so and will wait until help arrives.
We will assign a Collective Member to act as an Inquirer to gather the information to bring to the Team. The Inquirer will remain neutral throughout the process until the Collective reaches a decision. The Inquirer will be unaffiliated with those involved, and the reporter or reported may request that a Collective Member recuse themselves from the process due to a close relationship (such as personal friend, partner, ex-partner, metamour, paramour) with themselves, the reported person or if there may otherwise be a conflict of interest.
We only talk to the reporter, the reported person, and anyone who witnessed the incident. If the reporter would like a friend/partner present while giving a report, they are there for support purposes only.
We don’t bring the reporter and reported person together to discuss the incident or attempt to perform a mediation or facilitate an apology.
We will reach out to those involved to individually hear from them. We may request additional materials and have additional questions as we collect information.
We don’t share the contents of our investigation. These remain confidential but we may give a reasoned decision.
After the information has been gathered, the Collective members will review it and reach a decision.
If the reporter has been threatened with a defamation lawsuit or fears for their safety, we will try to maintain their confidentiality with the reported, however, this means that it may be more difficult to gather information about the consent incident and make a decision.
We will take into consideration what the reporter would like to happen, without making any guarantees due to the need for fairness, to protect our group and our members.
Temporary Steps During Information Gathering
Depending on the nature of the initial report, individuals may be temporarily asked to refrain from attending in-person or on any of our online platforms while the information gathering process takes place. We recognize that this situation may be undesirable to those involved with the incident but may need to take this measure until a final decision can be reached.
Evaluating Consent Incidents
While consent incidents are unique and varied, there is a common set of factors that we consistently take into account in every case when determining the most appropriate response. While this is not a complete list, it covers many important considerations:
The severity of the nonconsensual activity (unwanted hug, sexual assault, assault with injury)
The nature of the consent incident (accident, ignorance manipulation, coercion)
The response of the individual who crossed a boundary (accepting responsibility for their behavior, showing empathy for the reporter, desire to apologise vs. denial, deflection)
Power differentials between involved individuals
Multiple reports of consent incidents from unrelated people reporting the same person (indicating a pattern of bad behaviour)
Serial reports by one person against multiple people (indicating the consent reporting process may be being misused)
Public documents like orders of protection, police reports, and sex offender registry
Admissions of wrong-doing by the reported person
Reports of sanctions or bans by other groups with a similar consent culture
Willingness of the reported person to defer to the needs and wishes of the reporter
Sanctions
The Collective will decide on an outcome through a majority vote. One or more of the following actions may be taken. (An individual who knowingly and intentionally creates a false report may also be subject to these actions.)
Warnings – Some people can violate consent or boundaries through inexperience, poor communication skills, or a misunderstanding of expectations. We will provide education about our Consent Policy and refer the individual to educational materials about consent. We expect members of our community who receive formal warnings to take them seriously and adjust their behaviour moving forward.
Attendance Restrictions – If you seriously violate any of our rules or Consent Policy or have repeated warnings, we may request that you refrain from attending our events or a subset of our events for a set amount of time.
Bans – We reserve the right to ban anyone who is not a good fit for our events and groups. If an individual is barred from attending our events, they will also not be permitted to participate in our online groups and discussions, and vice versa.
Consent Incidents Involving Volunteers
We hold our volunteers, presenters, and organizers to a higher standard of conduct, so we encourage you to feel comfortable reporting any problematic behaviour. In addition to the above, issues involving those in positions of trust may require additional immediate steps:
Volunteers involved in a consent incident may be removed from their role at events or barred from further volunteering until a decision is made.
Presenters and other educators involved in a consent incident may have their classes canceled or postponed until a decision is made.
Collective Members involved in a consent incident will be temporarily suspended while the reports are taken and until such time as the consent incident can be evaluated by the rest of the Board and a decision is made.
Any complaints that involve a staff or Collective member will be dealt with by an external and independent party.
Notification of a Decision
When the organisers have reached a decision in response to an incident report, the designated Collective Member who took the reports will notify those involved about the decision in the following order:
The Reporter. If they would like to engage further with the person they reported to get mediation or an apology, they will be referred to a professional to assist them.
The Reported. They will be instructed to not reach out to the reporter or initiate contact at events or online (unless otherwise specified or agreed by the reporter), or additional sanctions may be applied. It is then up to the reporter to initiate any future contact.
If it is a Warning or Restricted Attendance, and the reported person has demonstrated a willingness to change problematic behaviour, we will state in general what changes that need to be made in order to attend our events.
If the person is Banned, they are told they are not a good fit for our events and groups. We will provide no other information in order to protect the reporter, the group, and the membership from retaliation and liability.
We request that witnesses maintain confidentiality about the incident.
If an individual is banned, we may privately communicate our decision to organisers in our area. We will limit the disclosure to the general nature of the incident, and we will not disclose the identity of the reporter (unless the reporter requests it).
In the event of a widely-discussed or witnessed consent incident that results in a ban, we may acknowledge the ban and say this person is not a good fit for the group. If the person is a volunteer or Collective Member, a brief statement about them stepping back from their volunteer responsibilities may be made.
We will not discuss our decision with partners, friends, metamours, or other parties uninvolved with the consent incident. We don’t allow public discussions that name names or the specifics of consent or other incidents at our events or online entities due to the risk of additional harm and liability to the Collective, reporter, and any witnesses.
Confidentiality is abiding for Collective members even after their term of service is over.
Conclusion
In publishing this Consent Policy and Procedures, we hope that everyone involved with our group understands what happens when someone reports a consent or other incident to us. We strive to foster the improvement of consent education with the goal of making instances where this policy must be relied upon few and far between and we take consent incidents seriously in order to serve our goal of creating a safer space for everyone.